The Note

I wrote this poem after a conversation with my sister. We talked about how we are always trying to harmonize with things and people around us, instead of being confident in our own rhythm. 

*Originally written 10/24/20

I am no longer trying to find the “note” they have asked from me

I have settled on the one that my spirit has chosen instead

I have moved past the desire to please those who would require me to sing in octaves that don’t suit me, who hear my sparrow’s song and throw stones to break her wings

I have decided that the air moving through my lungs are all the satisfaction that I desire

I have chosen to forget the pleasures of their applause, forgiven myself for ever needing to feel its vibration caress my skin

The tenor of it echoing through rooms, making it almost like touch

I have decided to only cry for joy when I feel the rhythm in my bones

The delicate melodies and riffs flowing thru me

To fall in love with the standing ovation of my own soul

To celebrate my freedom to sing as loud and as long as I want

I have decided that music is not what I need to feel alive

I am alive, and so I will enjoy my music, my art, my passion, in control of my narrative, my talents, my dreams

Master of my success or my failures, and in those moments when doubt is a broken key or misplaced harmony

My song will raise above it, flood it and drown it out

I have decided.